hazy_reflection | Entries tagged with john!

An hour left in Day 7 and I'm at 10874 words on my NaNo project! Pretty damn good if I do say so myself, especially considering I hardly wrote at all over the weekend as we were celebrating John's 25th birthday. =) Still, I was at 6667 at the end of Friday, only wrote to 6960 over Sat and Sun, and now at almost 11k. The goal for the end of today was 11667, so at 10874 I'm not doing too shabby!! I'm starting to lose steam though, so I figure almost 4k is good for one day. I'll catch up the rest tomorrow hopefully.

As for fishing over the weekend, my wonderful husband caught himself a 43cm snapper and a 38cm King George Whiting, as well as multiple other fish. Those two were the special ones though and they tasted mighty yummy. Looking forward to more of that as the fishing season continues. Looking forward to January and vacation in Merimbula! Look out fishies! Here I coooooooome!!!

Current Music: Bella Notte -- Glee

roguebelle did it first...thought it might be interesting...

Jung Explorer Test
Actualized type: ISTJ
(who you are)

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

Preferred type: ISFJ
(who you prefer to be)

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

Attraction type: ESFJ

(who you are attracted to)

ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population.

Take Jung Explorer Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Not really sure about the "Guardian of time-honored institutions" part... The preferred person is definitely more on than the person I am part I think. Dunno about the attracted to...John's not really the sociable type. Although, he used to be when he was younger. Popular kid who used to party and drink a lot and do all that stuff... He's definitely a "nurturer of harmony" though. And we never have people over so dunno about the host bit... he probably could be. He made sure everything was great when my parents were visitting, doing his "duty" and all that. Maybe that is him...

I find more and more that married life suits me, odd as it may have sounded to anyone who knew me eight years ago. At that point in my life, I had just been horribly dumped by someone who was young and foolish and horribly self-centred and somehow I had become enamoured of him all through high school. Still, we live and learn and here I am with someone who devotes himself to me anew every single day. How long will it last? Who can say, but for now I will relish in the delight that someone finds me attractive, sexy, and everything they always wanted.

We just spent a wonderful long weekend away at the family's favourite vacation spot: Merimbula. A small on-the-water city that many aussies often visit as a fishing holiday spot. It was nice to get away from home, everyone needs a holiday now and then, and the weather in Merimbula is so much nicer than Rosedale at the moment. Never for a moment let anyone fool you into thinking that all of Australia is hot all year round. Tis not so in the southern states. Four seasons is a common thing here in Victoria, and sometimes all four in one day! Though, we aren't at an altitude that gets snow, so it's not a "true" winter in that aspect, but the weather does get odd. One minute it can be hot as heck, and the next it will be freezing because the wind just blew up and the sun was covered by a quickly drifting cloud. But Merimbula was beautiful and sunny. We did get a magnificent thunder storm in which we were, for about fifteen minutes, serenaded by the crash, boom, and very loud bang of the thunder clouds, accented by the blinding flashes of lightning that lit up the darkened skies. Excellent to watch, especially the ones out to sea that looked like they touched it. So we went down, caught some fish, turned a very lovely shade of red, followed by a nice dark brown, and came home and back to the real world where at this very moment, my husband's alarm is going off to wake him up to ready for work. Yes the real world is not always so fun. Ahh the life of being a baker. Up at midnight. And time for me to hit the hay.

As it goes, I've been keeping a small written diary since Jan 1 and I've only missed two days so far. Not too shabby. I've usually missed about two weeks by now. =P

So, I haven't been on-line for like...a week. OMG I know, a WEEK right?! =P lol

Lots of things happened...flew to the states, got a wedding dress fitted, did a bachelor/ette party thing and then, hey, a wedding! =P One of The Goodner Girls has finally been married off in a public ceremony! My family is sooooo happy. My parents are ecstatic because they can finally say they have a son, even in my dear darling John is a son-in-law. Of course, they're happier now that they're all in Hawai'i. I'm somewhat amused by the fact that after my wedding, my family is in Maui and I'm in San Diego. But I'm happy and enjoying life with my hubby and that's all that matters. The San Diego Wild Animal Park has four baby elephants and they were SO adorable! We also got to see two of the older but not oldest (eldest?) elephants fighting and seriously looking like they were trying to drown each other in their water hole area. It was quite amusing. Next stop Sea World! I get to get my marine aminal craziness on!

On the completely opposite side of the emotional spectrum, is it wrong that I'm mad at my best friend? Wedding was on Friday, I gave her my camera to take pictures at the reception, she was supposed to see me on Saturday before John and I left for San Diego and she never did. It was her responsibility to contact me because she was getting a Brazilian wax done and didn't know what time it would be over. That was supposed to be a morning thing. We didn't leave for San Diego til 8pm! Because of her lack of ability to pick up a fucking phone ALL DAY, I am now using disposables on my "honeymoon". Do I have the right to be even a little upset about this? *sigh* Pictures will be up once I get the CD or whatever from the photographer once we get back from SD...

Current Mood: angry

Bridal shower went fantiastically. I have such wonderful sisters...when they want to throw a party. =P Yes...when my family wants to throw a party they're all fabulous...but any other time? Too much is just too much. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but the three weeks I've been back in the states is just enough time to be back to visit. I'm quite ready to go back home to my fiancee in my own private fairyland. He has made this whole relationship my very own version of a fairytale and I love it. And I love him. He just makes everything better for me. And he makes me want to be there for him and to make his life just as wonderful. =) wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So...wedding ceremony and reception pretty much planned in three weeks. Ladies, if you think it's not possible, I am here to tell you now, IT IS. Colours, theme, centerpieces, invitations, thank yous, flowers, reception venue, dj, photographer, dress, MoH dress, shoes, reception dress, reception shoes, lighting, minister/civil celebrant person, all of it! THREE WEEKS. It can be done and it can be done beautifully. All you need is an insane father who LOVES doing all of it. =) All I need is to make sporadic phone calls to make sure everything is running as smoothly as was planned. Yeehaw!!

Current Music: Mamma Mia!

According to LiveJournal it's been 10 weeks since my last post. In that post, I didn't really say much. Not really going to say much here...just an update of my life since moving to Australia.

June 21-23 -- My plane ride was great! The end of it? Not so much of the good. The weather in Brisbane was crap so they weren't going to let us land for, like, an hour and we didn't have enough fuel to fly around and wait for an hour so they had to fly out to a little island and land in a place called Noumea to refuel which set us back about 3 hours and I missed my connecting flight to Melbourne. I guess that's a good thing because John's brother was being such a slack and they were late getting to Melbourne to pick me up anyway. Qantas was really good about already having a new connecting flight ready for me so I wasn't waiting around at all. John met me at the Melbourne airport along with his brother and his brother's fiancee--who is not his fiancee anymore at this moment in time--and everything was good. My outlook on life brightened considerably as soon as he smiled at me.

He took me home, I watched the scenery fly by and change so much during the car ride back to his home. Melbourne looks pretty much like any other city with it's skyscrapers and tall buildings that Superman could leap in a single bound. Big difference between LA and Melbourne though is that everything here in Australia seems to be sooooo much greener. I'm serious. There are trees, like, freaking EVERYWHERE. Once out of the car and in the house I pretty much passed out. Yay jetlag.

June 24 -- Woke up at an odd time. 3am. O_o Oh wait, that's 10am PST. Makes sense now. Except I'm sitting in bed alone because John's at work and I don't want to bother the rest of the house. Try and go back to sleep and end up lying in bed for about 5 hours. No big. Get used to it I guess. But John scheduled a movie for us! Transformers 2!! Except that halfway through the movie I--after scarfing down loads of way too salty popcorn--get horrible stomach pains so we ended up leaving and I end up getting sick and wretching right outside his car. Joy. "What's the first thing you did in Australia?" Oh, I threw up. My advice to anyo who's going on a very longplane ride: make sure you drink plenty of water and don't throw loads of salt down your gullet until you do. I'd never been dehydrated before and let me tell you it hurts like a mofo. Yes I just said mofo. The next few days were all pretty much rest and recuperation.

That weekend John, his mother, and his niece all took me to a local wildlife sanctuary where we saw some gorgeous peacocks and wallabies.

( Oh the wallabies... )

We also went back and saw the end of Transformers 2 that weekend since I had stupidly managed to end our previous movie engagement earlier than expected.

The next week was pretty relaxed. John took me to a few different beaches. They're so different from the ones back home. Completely less populated. You can stand on the shore and be the only person there in the middle of the afternoon. Of course, it was the beginning of winter at the time so...I suppose that could be why. But John says that's usually the way it is. There just aren't that many people on the beaches here. So much less crowded and less trashed up. You can sit on the sand and watch the waves crash for hours...and there are far less seagulls and a larger variety of birds hanging about as well. I feel a much stronger pull to nature on the beach here than I do when I visit the ocean back home.

And then the week after that, fishing!! Yes, John fishes and I have developed an unexpected liking for it as well. He took me out surf fishing the third wednesday after I had arrived. Of course, it was slow going at first. But somehow I managed to hook something! And a big something it was!

Crazy sized Australian Salmon that I've caught there. =P It's a bit larger than the every day man's catch, or so I'm told. I keep trying to tell them all that it was all beginner's luck but they won't believe me. I haven't really caught anything since. John has taken me out on his boat once--the weather hasn't really been good enough for anything more than that--and I caught a few small flathead. Almost hit John in the head with one too. =D

Since then we've been fishing at least once every week...maybe... We've gone on walks, bought a couple bikes and gone on bike rides... I've been introduced to family members and family friends. I've discovered not so fabulous mexican and really great australianised chinese. I've tasted Spaghetti Bolognese made by three different people but all three version were amazing. I've eaten more home made food in the past two months than I ever expected to eat in my adult life. How sad is that? I've eaten far less fast food than I would if I had still been at home. And I think I'm losing weight!! O_O Life here is good for me.

And the best and scariest part of it all: John put down a down payment on land and a house. We're going to have our own home!! They start building in December, and it should be done by April. O_O I get to pick out colours and carpet and countertops and furniture and...and...and... OMG. And then there's backyard stuff...of course there's going to be a shed for the boat and fishing items and and and... =D It's exciting but it's extremely scary for me. It's one step closer to that fairytale ending y'know? I've been hoping and dreaming for it for such a long time and now...it's starting to come true. I can hardly believe it...

It means, of course, that money is going to be tight, but that's to be expected. And the wedding is going to be small, but I don't mind that. I've always wanted a smaller wedding. My family keeps saying "big wedding big wedding!!" but, it's mine right? That means it needs to be what I want it to be? Especially if John and I are paying for it...right? Right. I am loving my life right now.

Current Music: Who's Line Is It Anyway?

Relationships. Everyone's talking about relationships. Who's with who, who's not with who, who's getting engaged, who's getting married, who's having kids... And, amazingly enough, I've been dropped into this odd form of conversation. It seems like it's all happened so fast.

My parents are talking about John and I getting married already. Sure, we've known each other for about two years, but we only just met face to face beginning of March. And it's not like we were using webcams before meeting. Only pics. But we definitely connected, thus the promise ring he bought for me.

Should I be scared? I kind of am. Marriage?

He makes me happy. I've never been so sure of any one person before, but...I trust him. He makes me feel secure, and safe...and so much better than I've ever felt before...

But I'm insecure. I'm untrusting. It's my nature. Am I using it as an excuse to keep him at a distance? The actual physical distance makes it so much more difficult, but...emotionally? He understands me so much more than anyone else has seemed to. He's...perceptive, and scarily so. He can read me like a book and he can't even see my face or read my body language. In two weeks he was more in tune with me than I feel like I'm in tune with myself. And the even scarier part of it all is that I can't seem to find a similar connection with him. I can't read him... He always tries to reassure me...tell me that no one has ever been able to read him. But...shouldn't I be able to? Or is it something that will come with more time spent together?

I'm planning a trip out there in August. A two week trip, half of which he'll be working. It's supposed to give us a better idea of how life will be when at least one of us is working instead of having the joys of vacation life together. At least, that's what my dad says we should do. And it's a good idea...

After that, we start preparations to move me out there... Is three months even worth it, or should we go with six? Six is a little much to impose upon his family though... Everyone agrees (my parents added in there with that "everyone", amazingly enough) that we should stay with his parents until we get ourselves situated in our own living space... It makes me a tad nervous, because I keep getting that negative mental image of the grown man with his girlfriend mooching off his or her parents for...forever... O_o We wouldn't be, of course, because he would still be working and I, hopefully, will have found at least a temporary job. It's simply the matter of finding a house...or an apartment.

Am I even ready? Am I over-analysing? Am I overthinking things? Have I given my heart too much control? Have I not given it enough control?

I'm an insecure mess. I told John this much. But for some reason...he still wants me. Do I deserve someone who's so determined to show me there's nothing to feel insecure about? Someone who seems to genuinely want me to be happy, to be the person to make me that happy? He says I make him just as happy...so much more than he's ever been before... I believe it when he says it, but if I can't be there for him, if I can't tell when he's feeling down or if he's not feeling well...what does that say about me? Does it mean we're not as compatible as we hope we are? Does it even mean anything at all...? I know there's someone better out there for him...he keeps telling me there's not...

He's secure in his life at this moment in time. He enjoys his job though he doesn't so much like the guys he has to work with, he's stable financially, he manages to have a small bit of life outside of his busy work schedule... Even if it's mostly fishing on his days off, he still does things with people...

I'm NOT secure at all. I hate my job but I love my employees, I'm so not stable financially, I have no life... What the FUCK does he see in me...? I'm a 26-year-old nothing...going nowhere...

( But wait...there's more... )

Current Music: Evanescence -- Good Enough

Yesterday marked the last day of my two-week vacation. My first vacation in about seven years, actually... No, of course I'm not a work-a-holic. I'm just a loser with no life. But love, ahhh I have love. I miss him already. He's still airborne at the moment...he's been on the plane for twelve hours already. =( I hate that he's making his first two plane rides EVER all by himself, the first being his trip out here and the second being his trip back. Especially a flight that long. It's a looooong plane ride non-stop to/from LAX from/to Melbourne.

( Cut for length and piccies! )

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Wall-E then Singin' in the Rain

I've decided I'm going to try to become more LJ friendly. Emphasis on try because I can't seem to stick to this thing anymore. =( It's a very sad thing. I even left Lumos because I haven't been paying attention to LJ anymore. Anyway!

Friday was a nice relaxing sit at home and not do anything day! Had lots of booze and read a friend's screenplay which was made of so much win I really hope she sells it because I think a lot of people would like it. It's such good humour and it's something--I think it is anyway--completely new that I've never seen before. And I got to talk to John lots yay! If we click at all in person the way our personalities click now there is seriously going to be lots of ooey gooey mushy romance going on in March. Like...seriously. NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVERTS!! =P But if all goes well then for the next six months I will be seriously poor as all my extra cash is going into savings so that I can go out to Australia to visit him during the fall/winter! And besides...it's Australia! How freaking cool is that? And our fall/winter is their spring/summer. He lives in the country too and says the surrounding countryside is absolutely gorgeous. Not that I don't like Southern California but...ummmm, Orange County/LA? City scapes and sub/urban? lifestyles...I could do with being a little more closer--yes I did just say that--to nature and some beautiful scenery...Rainforests and white sandy beaches and wetlands that don't look like the poor sad wetlands that are here... I wants to see it!! *whine* Okay...'nuff of that! Onward to more weekend!!

Saturday started off fine...and then with the throwing up and the icky feelings. Pretty sure it wasn't hangover type icky feelings though because there was no headache along with it or hangover-y type feelings. Even though I've only ever had a hangover once before in my lifetime... O_o Good thing it passed quickly though, or else I would never have made it to

herophelia's place and I would never have met

a_leprechaun face to face fo' sho' who is TOTALLY the shiznit. When they say she is "Teh Awesome" they mean it. Girl you be awesome! All kinds of outgoingness and personality. And that playlist freakin' rocks man. And I got to see

rosesfade again which always results in laughs and good times! Sorry I didn't say goodbye but I wanted to let you rest!! Was seriously sad that I didn't think about pulling my camera out of my purse to take pics!! I'll definitely be taking pics of the gifts though! It's so funny. I showed everyone at work the watch and they were all like..."It's tuna? WTF?!?" And then they're all like "You can't tell time with that there aren't any numbers!" Ha ha! It's actually a lot easier than they think it is if some of them actually used a brain cell or two, but that's beside the point.

So yes...that is my weekend in something so much larger than a nutshell. Pics of gifts will follow eventually! =)

So, I've decided that I HAVE to read more this year. Simply because it's better for me. I just recently finished the Twilight series and am currently rereading it because I like it so much. Other series that I have read and enjoyed immensely: the Harry Potter series, Kushiel's Legacy, Lord of the Rings, the Merry Gentry series by Laurell K. Hamilton...and I can't think of any more... =( How sad. If anyone has any suggestions of fantasy/sci-fi, etc. along those lines feel free to make suggestions. Not that many people keep up with my journal anymore anyway. =P Not that I blame them, I update it soooo much anymore.

Extra Sidenote: John is coming in March!

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The Mystery of Me

Where darkness reigns and night is eternal

Entries tagged with john!

NaNo 2011 - Day 7!

Ummmm...

(no subject)

crazy crazy times!

Who wants to be a blushing bride??

As time goes by...

"Am I good enough...?"

Oh the joys of relaxation...

Weekend!

Reading Project