Why is my head swimming...

[hazy_reflection]

Ben's a jerk...Felicity, I understand just how you're feeling. I can't believe I'm watching this show...I hate this show. I'm watching Felicity. Everyone's about break-ups...everything is about break-ups...WHY?!?!?!?! I hate being single. It was really scary, Steve, my youth pastor was going over his study this evening and he was talking about relationships and where God wants them to go. If you're not in the right place then you become a liar, a deceiver and afraid of God. Great, now all the couples are together and everything is okay...well I can truly say that my life is not a TV drama. But back to God. Maybe it was just me or something else. I don't know if I can see it right. Maybe I'm just rationalizing the hurt. When I was with Bob I thought I was in the right place. After we went too far, everything started falling apart. Maybe that's where God started getting my attention. I strayed from Him and He punished those closest to me: Bob. But Satan apparently rewarded me big time. I thought I felt as secure as I could ever be. But now I feel less secure than I ever thought I could be. I didn't want it to end but maybe this is God telling me to wait and get back on track then try to rekindle it. I'm trying. God I know you know I'm trying. Help me, guide me, my faith is in You. Be with those I love most...You know who they are...