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I've officially become a girl.
This past week/weekend was eventful. Thursday went trout fishing. Caught a rock. Lost a lure on the third cast of the day. A new lure. A $20 lure. Was not a happy fisherwoman. =( Friday night went surf fishing. Caught...great air. Let's just say it was a good night for practising casting a surf rod and not so much a good night for catching any fish. Was a happy night overall though. John caught a four-foot gummy shark--yum!!--which always makes him happy because flake is that super uberliciously yummy. Also got to see a red moon rise. It was absolutely gorgeous because just above it you could see Mars which was shining a beautiful shade of red as well. John says the red moon rises because it's still getting sunlight from the other side of the world. I love our little corner of Australia. =)
Saturday. What can I say about Saturday... Oh yeah. I turned into the uber bitch from hell. I love my husband. I love his family. I even love his brother who is charming when he wants to be but an asshole most of the time otherwise. James got married this past Saturday. It amuses me because I will never remember it as James's and Amy's anniversary. It was my younger sisters' birthday first and will always be remembered as such.
I was never the type of girl who dreamed of what her wedding would be when she was younger. I got married all of a year and a half ago and when it happened I still didn't have much of a care what was in it, only certain aspects like music and the cake topper. My younger sister married her 7 year sweetheart only a month ago and I loved their wedding because it was so them. The wedding of my brother-in-law? It was so them. I did not love it. Why?
First off, John and I weren't even invited up until about 3 weeks ago. Family drama yadda yadda bleh bleh bleh. James and Amy bring out the worst in each other most of the time. Wasn't really excited to go to said wedding. But we got the invitation and James is John's older brother we should support him in his decision... Yeah. So I got all dolled up and went. What happened? All I could think about was how my wedding was better. Bitchy, right?
Let's start at the beginning. They have absolutely NO money. A few years ago John gave James the money for the engagement ring, if that says anything. They didn't take out any loans to do any of it, so you can imagine what this wedding is going to entail. The location is at a decently cared for large park...right next to the major street. Lots of traffic and noise in the background. There was no music. I would have gone berserk if there had been a problem with the music at my wedding. Music is the one aspect in a wedding that I ever had any cares about. But this isn't my wedding. Let's continue. There's no surprise, no big lovely crowd rising as the bride walks up the aisle... Everyone saw her car park on the street. Everyone saw her walk through the park to the central location. Everyone watched as she stood in front of her groom with a bouquet that looked as if it could've been thrown together five minutes beforehand. She was absolutely lovely, to be sure. She's a pretty girl, thin, just the right height. Her hair looked like an 80's formal hairdo, and I'm not even sure her greek style gold-ish flat sandals matched the silver encrusted crystalline decorations of the dress. But she looked happy and she looked pretty. My opinion is simply my opinion.
The ceremony was short, no readings from friends, no special vows, no extras...no "unique individualism" on it. Just a typical ten-minute ceremony. Nothing wrong with that, it's what they wanted. They hadn't even asked their witnesses beforehand if they would be the witnesses though. And they stole my witness. grrrrr. John's mother's mum is very loved, and I had asked her privately in advance, if she would be a witness at our small courtheld wedding ceremony. The lovely lady also looks at John as a favourite, so it worked both ways and everyone was thrilled that she did it. And then James, who didn't even have the decency to ask his grandmother himself if she would witness at his wedding, told his mother to get nanna because he wanted her to be a witness. Maybe it's bitchy of me to say it but that just seems to effing messed up. Anyway, that was all around 2pm, finished probably no later than 2:15. Then they didn't really have "official" photography going on. Just a good friend who didn't seem to know what she was doing point a camera and take a few pics. No one stuck around really to watch because it was starting to rain (big bitchy moment here: I was really bummed it hadn't started pouring during the wedding). Then, everyone had to go home for a few hours. Why? Because for whatever reason the bride and groom thought the wedding would have taken a lot longer? Good that they were thinking ahead of time, bad because they weren't really thinking at all. If a wedding invitation says reception immediately to follow, I'm going to assume the reception is immediately to follow. Not three hours later!! The reception hall wasn't booked for before 5, so we all went out for coffee...for three hours... The upside to this was that I got to meet another family member who seems semi-normal. She's just gotten engaged to a new man so we've got another wedding to look forward to in the near future. She's done it once before so I'm hoping it'll be a bit better than...yeah... Anyway.
Finally at the reception hall I'm expecting music, food, entertainment, socialising. Everyone's awkward, no one's talking, there's no music and almost no one showed up on time. The bride and groom had to sit in a room and wait until people showed up to be announced, which wasn't done right at all. Bridal party, THEN bride and groom. They didn't have an MC who really knew the drill, so the location manager (this is also the place the bride works at so they got a discount at least) was nice enough to fill in. They didn't have any order to anything at all, no speeches prepared... The first dance was awkward and ridiculous. The bridal party came down to try and dance as well so the focus wasn't on the bride and groom's horrible dancing. The food wasn't bad, but the timing was. Soup, almost 45 minutes later main course, nothing in between, no father daughter dance, no mother son dance...no nothing. They didn't cut the cake til almost 8 o'clock which isn't a bad thing but again, didn't know what they were doing. Didn't know they were supposed to cut it together. They didn't shove cake in each other's faces. They didn't even actually cut it, they posed with cake knife positioned correctly and then walked away. John and I had to leave before the cake was even delivered to the guests because he had to work. And the kicker of the evening: most of the guests had to pay for their own dinner because the bride and groom have no money.
I'm sorry, but if I want my family and friends to share in something like that, I'm going to be able to pay for it, not make them pay for it. The only reason John and I didn't is because James is in to John for over $7.5k. John's decided that we're never buying them anything for the rest of their lives until James pays him back. I'm very supportive of that idea. In a big fit of bitchiness awhile back, I even suggested to John that we take James for his car since he wasn't paying back the money.
And in addition, all of this has made me realise that the wedding my parents had for John and I in California wasn't my dream wedding. And since this realisation hit, I've decided that once John and I have the money we're going to have a second wedding (or a renewal of the vows, whatever you want to call it) so that I can have a wedding MY way. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everything my parents did for us, but there were certain things that led all my decisions about that wedding. I pretty much let my dad do it all because I was the first. He has four daughters and I was the first to get married so I let him have all the control. The other reason is that my dad has cancer. We're not sure when it'll get worse, but I wanted him to have that in case it got to the point where he might not be able to. I think that's one of the things that frightens me most in my life, my dad not seeing all his girls "happily married". He's so eager for us to be in happy successful relationships. He worries about my sister Lauren, the eldest of us. I'm 28 and married a year and a half... she's 33 and not in a relationship. Kendell just turned 26 on the 15th of October and was just married last month, Sept. 17th. Leslie is in a serious relationship... He worries about Lauren... But yes, there are so many things about my wedding I would change. Colour scheme, location, reception location, THE DRESS, the cake decoration, the ceremony... so many things. I think I'm going to plan it all out so I've got it ready for if it ever happens...
This past week/weekend was eventful. Thursday went trout fishing. Caught a rock. Lost a lure on the third cast of the day. A new lure. A $20 lure. Was not a happy fisherwoman. =( Friday night went surf fishing. Caught...great air. Let's just say it was a good night for practising casting a surf rod and not so much a good night for catching any fish. Was a happy night overall though. John caught a four-foot gummy shark--yum!!--which always makes him happy because flake is that super uberliciously yummy. Also got to see a red moon rise. It was absolutely gorgeous because just above it you could see Mars which was shining a beautiful shade of red as well. John says the red moon rises because it's still getting sunlight from the other side of the world. I love our little corner of Australia. =)
Saturday. What can I say about Saturday... Oh yeah. I turned into the uber bitch from hell. I love my husband. I love his family. I even love his brother who is charming when he wants to be but an asshole most of the time otherwise. James got married this past Saturday. It amuses me because I will never remember it as James's and Amy's anniversary. It was my younger sisters' birthday first and will always be remembered as such.
I was never the type of girl who dreamed of what her wedding would be when she was younger. I got married all of a year and a half ago and when it happened I still didn't have much of a care what was in it, only certain aspects like music and the cake topper. My younger sister married her 7 year sweetheart only a month ago and I loved their wedding because it was so them. The wedding of my brother-in-law? It was so them. I did not love it. Why?
First off, John and I weren't even invited up until about 3 weeks ago. Family drama yadda yadda bleh bleh bleh. James and Amy bring out the worst in each other most of the time. Wasn't really excited to go to said wedding. But we got the invitation and James is John's older brother we should support him in his decision... Yeah. So I got all dolled up and went. What happened? All I could think about was how my wedding was better. Bitchy, right?
Let's start at the beginning. They have absolutely NO money. A few years ago John gave James the money for the engagement ring, if that says anything. They didn't take out any loans to do any of it, so you can imagine what this wedding is going to entail. The location is at a decently cared for large park...right next to the major street. Lots of traffic and noise in the background. There was no music. I would have gone berserk if there had been a problem with the music at my wedding. Music is the one aspect in a wedding that I ever had any cares about. But this isn't my wedding. Let's continue. There's no surprise, no big lovely crowd rising as the bride walks up the aisle... Everyone saw her car park on the street. Everyone saw her walk through the park to the central location. Everyone watched as she stood in front of her groom with a bouquet that looked as if it could've been thrown together five minutes beforehand. She was absolutely lovely, to be sure. She's a pretty girl, thin, just the right height. Her hair looked like an 80's formal hairdo, and I'm not even sure her greek style gold-ish flat sandals matched the silver encrusted crystalline decorations of the dress. But she looked happy and she looked pretty. My opinion is simply my opinion.
The ceremony was short, no readings from friends, no special vows, no extras...no "unique individualism" on it. Just a typical ten-minute ceremony. Nothing wrong with that, it's what they wanted. They hadn't even asked their witnesses beforehand if they would be the witnesses though. And they stole my witness. grrrrr. John's mother's mum is very loved, and I had asked her privately in advance, if she would be a witness at our small courtheld wedding ceremony. The lovely lady also looks at John as a favourite, so it worked both ways and everyone was thrilled that she did it. And then James, who didn't even have the decency to ask his grandmother himself if she would witness at his wedding, told his mother to get nanna because he wanted her to be a witness. Maybe it's bitchy of me to say it but that just seems to effing messed up. Anyway, that was all around 2pm, finished probably no later than 2:15. Then they didn't really have "official" photography going on. Just a good friend who didn't seem to know what she was doing point a camera and take a few pics. No one stuck around really to watch because it was starting to rain (big bitchy moment here: I was really bummed it hadn't started pouring during the wedding). Then, everyone had to go home for a few hours. Why? Because for whatever reason the bride and groom thought the wedding would have taken a lot longer? Good that they were thinking ahead of time, bad because they weren't really thinking at all. If a wedding invitation says reception immediately to follow, I'm going to assume the reception is immediately to follow. Not three hours later!! The reception hall wasn't booked for before 5, so we all went out for coffee...for three hours... The upside to this was that I got to meet another family member who seems semi-normal. She's just gotten engaged to a new man so we've got another wedding to look forward to in the near future. She's done it once before so I'm hoping it'll be a bit better than...yeah... Anyway.
Finally at the reception hall I'm expecting music, food, entertainment, socialising. Everyone's awkward, no one's talking, there's no music and almost no one showed up on time. The bride and groom had to sit in a room and wait until people showed up to be announced, which wasn't done right at all. Bridal party, THEN bride and groom. They didn't have an MC who really knew the drill, so the location manager (this is also the place the bride works at so they got a discount at least) was nice enough to fill in. They didn't have any order to anything at all, no speeches prepared... The first dance was awkward and ridiculous. The bridal party came down to try and dance as well so the focus wasn't on the bride and groom's horrible dancing. The food wasn't bad, but the timing was. Soup, almost 45 minutes later main course, nothing in between, no father daughter dance, no mother son dance...no nothing. They didn't cut the cake til almost 8 o'clock which isn't a bad thing but again, didn't know what they were doing. Didn't know they were supposed to cut it together. They didn't shove cake in each other's faces. They didn't even actually cut it, they posed with cake knife positioned correctly and then walked away. John and I had to leave before the cake was even delivered to the guests because he had to work. And the kicker of the evening: most of the guests had to pay for their own dinner because the bride and groom have no money.
I'm sorry, but if I want my family and friends to share in something like that, I'm going to be able to pay for it, not make them pay for it. The only reason John and I didn't is because James is in to John for over $7.5k. John's decided that we're never buying them anything for the rest of their lives until James pays him back. I'm very supportive of that idea. In a big fit of bitchiness awhile back, I even suggested to John that we take James for his car since he wasn't paying back the money.
And in addition, all of this has made me realise that the wedding my parents had for John and I in California wasn't my dream wedding. And since this realisation hit, I've decided that once John and I have the money we're going to have a second wedding (or a renewal of the vows, whatever you want to call it) so that I can have a wedding MY way. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everything my parents did for us, but there were certain things that led all my decisions about that wedding. I pretty much let my dad do it all because I was the first. He has four daughters and I was the first to get married so I let him have all the control. The other reason is that my dad has cancer. We're not sure when it'll get worse, but I wanted him to have that in case it got to the point where he might not be able to. I think that's one of the things that frightens me most in my life, my dad not seeing all his girls "happily married". He's so eager for us to be in happy successful relationships. He worries about my sister Lauren, the eldest of us. I'm 28 and married a year and a half... she's 33 and not in a relationship. Kendell just turned 26 on the 15th of October and was just married last month, Sept. 17th. Leslie is in a serious relationship... He worries about Lauren... But yes, there are so many things about my wedding I would change. Colour scheme, location, reception location, THE DRESS, the cake decoration, the ceremony... so many things. I think I'm going to plan it all out so I've got it ready for if it ever happens...
