Drifting along the shores of...

Drifting drifting always drifting...damn stupid AOL!! "You have been logged off due to inactivity." Who cares about inactivity...I was active. I had a whole nice long entry that I was almost done with when you logged me off!! Now I have to write it all over. Well...Bob broke up with me last Wednesday, April 25, 2001...ouch that hurts. Two and a half years to what?? Nothing, absolutely nothing according to him. It's nothing, just something to get rid of. What did I do for him?? Everything!! I loved him...and I still do. What did I do wrong?? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!?!?! Ostriches hide their heads in the sand when they're frightened, I'm frightened now, frightened that I've scared him away. What do I do...I want him back. I don't like this whole thing of being single. I don't understand how people can just date to date people. It's unreal...actually it's very real, I just can't take the real...I can't handle the truth. Oh well. I like my fantasy, my life. I wouldn't have traded it for the world. I wouldn't now if I could have him back. I love you Bob. Always. Forever. Fill in the blank??

Walk down that lonesome road, all by yourself...

Why does everything feel so detached and not together when you least want it to?? People can't understand people...why??

When I was young, I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Living alone, I think of all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone, nobody's home

All by myself, don't wanna be all by myself anymore

I don't wanna be by myself anymore...but I have friends, lots of friends who love me and care about me. They've helped me through lots of things, including my really bad breakup with Bob, though it wasn't really bad, it just was from my end. He thinks he did the right thing. I don't. I know he'll come around. I hope he does...

What's Going On?!?!?!?! >=X

It's the second time he's done this to me...I don't understand it!! If he really doesn't want to talk to me anymore why doesn't he tell me?? Is he afraid he'll hurt my feelings again?? Well god dammit he already hurt my feelings bad enough by saying we can't work out the problems. I know we were meant for each other or I wouldn't try so hard to get back together. I wouldn't try so hard to work for him, to make things right again. I love him so much...why can't he see that?? He used to feel the same way...I know he still feels the same way...he's just scared of something. For the love of God!! What's his fucking problem?! I love him so much...why does it have to hurt so much...