The Mystery of Me

I...have been an internet loser and haven't logged on to, like, ANYTHING on-line for the past few days. I blame my husband for getting a computer emulated Nintendo Gameboy DS program and feeding me pokemon games to play on it. I am completely addicted. So much that I may go buy myself a real DS and real games to play...I miss Gameboy. I used to be such a Nintendo addict when I was younger... Nintendo...then Gameboy..then Super Nintendo... the 64 was so much crap that I didn't even bother with it... Gamecube is aaaaawesoooooome...

I am...a certified loser. =P

It's drawing closer to the date of my wedding in the states...and I'm still figuring out music stuff... Even with dad's little cancer scare, I'm surprised they haven't gotten the invites out, but they're working on that...I think they want to get them out next week...

But I have to get my music figured out!! Ugh. You'd think I'd have this thing down pat, with me being a music fanatic and whatnot...but to no avail... I'm still trying to make decisions. Mostly on the father/daughter dance... But I'm trying to decide on the first dance...and I don't know what else I need music for to be completely honest... bleeeeeeeeeeeeh.

I have been having, and remembering, some of the weirdest dreams ever since I moved to Australia, the oddest part of that statement being that I am actually remembering dreams. I NEVER used to before I came out here. That being said, I had the oddest freaking dream the other night and I can't figure out where the majority of it came from. The past few dreams before that, I knew where they came from. For instance, Dragonheart was on a couple weeks ago and then that night I had a dream about riding dragons. Easy enough to figure out, right? Then I had a dream about a week ago about sharks, because the family was talking about fishing and sharks and stuff...easy too. THIS DREAM...


It's Christmas time, and I'm walking through a crowded mall, can't for the life of me figure out which one it is. I'm not much of a shopper and I haven't been to a large variety, if you should me a picture of a random place of the general interior of a mall that I've been to I could 95% tell you which one it is. But that's another story... So I'm walking through this mall with a girl I went to middle school and high school with, and all of a sudden people start SCREAMING and running, kinda of horror/susense movie-esque. So of course I'm the idiot and try to find out what's going on. I try to make my way through the crowd, and at the end of the mall--second story, btw--there's a man in white, chanting in latin (don't ask me how I know it was latin), and that's when the demons all start arriving. But they're not like...regular demons. What's a regular demon? I dunno, I guess I'm talking about crazy tv show demon, like on Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel or...something like that... Suddenly I'm trying to stop this guy! Why? Because somehow before all the mayhem, he managed to capture my friend who is apparently this paragon of good and there's something really special about her... Okay, this is where one of TWO bits of my dream make sense. The aforementioned tv shows (BtVS and Angel) I watch almost every day. So it would make sense that apparently I'm some sort of slayer figure in my dream...right? Apparently I am because I try and STOP him. With my fists...and kung fu or some other type of martial arts. Yes, I did actually think "I know kung fu" a la Keanu from The Matrix but only for a second. So the battle goes on, he continues to call these demony things down from wherever, people are running and screaming and blah blah blah. Then a random person comes up to me and hands me a hammer. Yes. A hammer. It's about 35% bigger than a regular hammer. So I start swinging it at the demons. It doesn't really do much except for smash things around, but there's no blood or anything. Then there's this voice in my head that's telling me I'm the heir of myth. What the HELL does that mean? It keeps going, saying that I'm supposed to be wielding these weapons, all of them from mythology from what I can tell. //I actually had to google some of them when I woke up because I have no idea what they are or from what mythos they're from// The Hammer of Thor (Norse), Excalibur (Arthurian), a trident that I think was supposed to be Poseidon's (Greek), and a couple others (a dagger, some other type of sword thing...and then some kind of weapon that I don't even know what it's called...) that I can't remember now that I'm finally coming back to this dream and putting it down to remember it. Anyawy, I'm trying to get these things and not doing really well when me and my little hammer run into Angel. Yes, complete David Boreanaz Angel in my dream. That's the second bit that I can reason into the dream. And he tells me that I'm not using the right hammer. Well, okay, since I don't know what the Hammer of Thor really looks like or IS I'm just an idiot. So he grabs my hand and we run around looking for it, though why it's all in the mall I don't know. Finally he spots some random guy who's holding a very large verson of a hammer complete with the two little pick things on the opposite side of the flat end. But it's big. The thing is almost as big as me, and while I'm not tall, I'm still 5'2" and getting a hammer that big? Crazy looking. And something I manage to carry it, but it's not easy. So I'm going around fighting with these two hammers (for some reason I didn't want to get rid of my little one), and then my dream skips. Angel and I are arguing. We're heatedly debating how to destroy the man in white and close the rift that the creatures are coming through. We get to the point where he practically hisses in my face "Because it's supposed to be three of us and the third party has to be AGAINST the other two!" So what does that mean exactly...? I think it through and try to make suggestions and my brain somehow decides that maybe Angel IS the opposing party...except that he...likes me... (as a friend of course). So that won't work. Skip forward again. I'm rushing the man in white, who at this point has killed my friend =( and swinging my big ass hammer and a sword (I'm assuming it's Excalibur, it could have been a different one) And then I wake up.



So. If anyone wants to try and analyse my dream and tell me I'm crazy, feel free. I seriously have no idea where the majority of the dream came from. Not a clue. Of course I've got a couple recurring dreams that are like that...but, not like that... That one's just kinda from out of left field...

I'm a married woman. Go figure.

I...am not meant to be a bride.

There's something about being a bride and picking out colours and doing all the things a bride is supposed to do that I...really don't want to do. In addition to shopping for house appliances and everything else...

And then I just feel like a complete and utter failure because I can't seem to do anything anymore. I can't remember any of the html I learned for LJ I can't decide what kind of job I want to try for I can't stick with a workout schedule or a normal eating program.

I have a wonderful fiancee who is so completely supportive of me and willing to help me with anything I want to do but I can't decide to do anything, or when I do I just can't seem to follow through on it. I'm going to get even fatter than I already am from all my holiday gorging and then I'm not going to fit into my dress which isn't made yet and should be made sometime in May which will then be mailed across the Pacific Ocean to my when I'll finally get a fitting only to be told that I'm too big and that there's no material to make the dress big enough to fit me at which time there will be NO TIME or money to get another one in time for my wedding in August at which time I still won't have my shoes because I won't have been able to make a decision on a pair and...I'm babbling...and apparently turning into a bridezilla. The best part about it is that the wedding back in Cali is going to be almost completely prepared by my father and I'm betting that once I get there two days before the wedding I'm going to hate it and then what?! *sigh*

Why, all of a sudden, is my brain spinning slowly out of whack?

I need something to take my mind off things. I tried reading but of course that wasn't good because I started reading the first three of the Kushiel books except I left book 3 back in the states so now I'm just annoyed because I can't finish the series. And now I'm reading the Chronicles of Narnia which is great and I enjoy them but it's just depressing that I can't wrap my head around any other series except the Kushiel books or the Narnia books or the Twilight books or the Harry Potter books or the Belgariad or the other series of the same variety...

And then I'm just ticked off that John's family took me on this wonderful vacation with them back in the middle of January and there was such great fishing to be done and I'm supposed to be good at it but the entire time I really couldn't catch jack shit which wouldn't have been bad except they were hoping I would which made them feel bad which in turn just made me feel bad too so none of us really enjoyed our vacation...

Why is everyone but me excited about the wedding... And I'm excited about our house...but shopping for appliances? I'm really not excited about it...I should be, but I'm not...

I've been knitting, but that's not really taking my mind off of things as much as I'd hoped. And even if I wanted to send them to people now it's getting late in winter so they wouldn't really be needed in addition to the fact that mailing them from here costs far too much and I don't have a whole lot of money to spend right now since I'm not working. I'd offer to teach kids around town beginner's piano...if I had a piano...but I don't...and I probably won't for a while since the type I want isn't exactly cheap... *sigh* ugh. bleh. *headdesk*

So... the last time I did this 30 days meme was December 17th. It is now 11:43pm on December 24th. I have a lot to catch up on!

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all!! =)

( Days 1 and 2 )

Day 03 → Your favorite television program

I don't really have one. We don't watch a lot of tv in Australia. Back when I did watch a lot of tv it was Charmed or Buffy the Vampire Slayer...


Day 04 → Your favorite book

Currently? The Twilight Saga. I know, I'm horrible. But I'm picky about my books for some reason and I can't seem to get into a lot of them. I also don't have access to a lot of my own books to reread so that I can figure out which one really would be my favourite.


Day 05 → Your favorite quote

"People try to tell us who we're meant to be, but it's up to us to decide if the label fits... - Kyle XY"

I think it should be added to though, to say that not only is it up to us to decide if the label fits, but also to make it our own. Labels are generalisations, but we are all individuals...it's our extra bits of personality that make us all unique. =)


Day 06 → Whatever tickles your fancy

Why is a raven like a writing desk? =P


Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy

I wouldn't say it makes me happy...but it makes me giggle every time I see it.




Day 08 → A photo that makes you angry/sad

I haven't really seen any photos that make me angry or sad except for the ones other people have posted through this meme... I guess I don't explore the world of photography eough...


Day 09 → A photo you took

Part of thewaterfall where John proposed. =)

( Other days )

Day 01 → Your favorite song
Day 02 → Your favorite movie

( the rest of the list )

You know, I really don't think I have a favourite movie outside of the Disney realm, except perhaps the LotR movies because they're just... wheee! It doesn't matter what kind of mood I'm in, I can put in any of those movies and they just make me feel better, even when I'm already happy. =) The only other favourite movies I have that can do that are Disney movies...and sometimes musicals.

But my favourite Disney movies? Well, right now my top five would be: Lilo & Stitch, Wall-E, Enchaanted, Beauty and the Beast, and Up.

It's odd really. In the past year, Stitch unofficially became my favourite Disney character. Without realising it, he just kinda popped into my life. I realised at some point that I quote him more than I quote any other Disney character and he's all around me. He's the only stuffed animal I posses. Actually, that's a lie, John won a little silly stuffed aminal of the dog Dug from the movie Up from one of those crane games that I've kept so...two then. But he's a stuffed animal. He's a 32oz coffee mug. He's a travel coffee mug. He's a pen. He's a keychain. He's a desktop! =P I am...all Stitched up! He's just adorable...

I've been wanting to post an entry for a while now, but I never have anything to talk about. I'm trying to figure out why, but nothing comes to mind.

My wedding is about seven and a half months away. I have done absolutely nothing in preparation. I really should get a move on...

Tagged by fyrestar1 ((How sad is it that I almost forgot how to make that a linkie thingy))

* List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
* Tag seven people to do the same.
* Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it."

1. When I'm alone I will sing to my heart's content to Disney, my iPod, or basically any music that's playing. When there are people around, I won't. Sad, yes I know...

2. I play my Facebook applications/games/whatever you call them in the exact same order every night after John goes to sleep. Cafe World, Farmville, Farmtown, Fish World, Happy Aquarium, Fishville, Zoo World, Restaurant City.

3. I love fishing! John started me on it after I came out here and it's become an obsession! It's great because there are so many places you can fish, the beach, a river, on a boat out in the ocean... So pretty! And, really, you get used to the smell... =P

4. I could really care less about make-up and nail polish and skin care or whatnot but my hair MUST be well taken care of! Shampoo conditioner air dry keep it healthy and beautiful!

5. I love cold weather. I would live in snow rather than desert. I love the beach too much to leave it too far behind though... =(

6. There is a nagging desire to write--fanfic or otherwise--deep in the crevices of my brain, but for some reason I never can manage to write anything...ever...or if I do I almost never finish it. Sadness.

7. Sometime in my life I plan on recording a demo cd. Because I feel like it.

I tag:
rosesfade
coolits
desire_of_nymph
penny_pixie
swordofice
honestillusion
wings_of_dreams

And wow when you've got a really small f-list it's hard to try and pick people you know haven't been tagged already for the same meme! And since I hardly post anyway I'm sure hardly anyone reads my posts anyway! =P Happy Memeing!

So I've realised that I don't update my LJ nearly enough as I should be. Funny thing is, I can't think of anything to ever update with, even though in the last five months I've moved across an ocean, learned how to fish, caught a myriad of different fish as well as two gummy sharks that were quite yummy in my tummy, contracted an annoying stomach virus that made me throw up every three weeks or so (and I still might have it), missed out on family birthdays, met a lot of Australian people, gotten engaged, missed THANKSGIVING (I am so learning how to make a turkey and pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce and baked ham and mashed potatoes and yams and creamed corn and corn on the cob and you get the picture...), and gotten more mosquito bites than I like... OH, and I've had some of the best sex I've ever experienced in my entire life...

So yeah...even though I've not taken the time to update my LJ, I've definitely experienced things that I should have updated on.

And the newest bit of news? I've stretched my shoulds even further to a website dedicated to, what else, my future husband and the life that he began Nov. 18th when he asked me to marry him. Yes...a wedding website that will encompass the entirety of my insanity at being a bridezilla. Haha...