(no subject)

[hazy_reflection]

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary's definition of love:

Main Entry: 1love
Pronunciation: \ˈləv\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lēof dear, Latin lubēre, libēre to please
Date: before 12th century
1 a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b: an assurance of love
2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
3 a: the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration b (1): a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment (2)British —used as an informal term of address
4 a: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others b: a person's adoration of God
5: a god or personification of love
6: an amorous episode : love affair
7: the sexual embrace : copulation
8: a score of zero (as in tennis)
9capitalized Christian Science : god
— at love : holding one's opponent scoreless in tennis
— in love : inspired by affection


The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary's definition of infatuation:

infatuate[2,transitive verb]

Main Entry: 2in·fat·u·ate
Pronunciation: \-ˌwāt, -ˌāt\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): in·fat·u·at·ed; in·fat·u·at·ing
Etymology: Latin infatuatus, past participle of infatuare, from in- + fatuus fatuous
Date: 1533
1 : to cause to be foolish : deprive of sound judgment
2 : to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration
— in·fat·u·a·tion \-ˌfa-chə-ˈwā-shən, -chü-ˈā-\ noun



Love...strong affection...sexual desire...warm attachment...affection and tenderness... Love is a very specific emotion, a difficult to describe state of being... I can only remember feeling something like this...long ago, it seems. To be figuring it by a dictionary definition, it almost seems cold, calculated, everything that it shouldn't be. But by the sole feeling from my very being, it's...everything that I want. It's nervous anxiety, it's security, it's the pleasantry of understanding, acceptance of quirks and flaws that, though we can't really see it all, we feel and take what is there with no question of what isn't out there on the table.

In the definition of infatuation, the word foolish... Regardless, even based on definition alone, it is love, not infatuation, that would be in my heart if I let it. It is a logical longing...a desire for what once was to be again.

Is love worth moving across a country? Is it worth crossing an ocean, or travelling the world? What are the risks? What are the gains? Does it even need questioning? I've heard, if you question love, then it really isn't love. Whether there is truth in that statement or not, the fact remains that there are doubts. And if there are doubts, is it worth jeopardising the feelings of someone else? Is it worth the risk to seek the adventure?

Difficult.

Such a simple thought, but a complexity in and of itself.

When do the questions end? I know the answer. I know my what. I cannot figure the why, or the how. Or if I want to.