hazy_reflection: (Default)
I'm listening to Michael Bolton singing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Yay for Christmas music! With that in mind, I've got to think of Christmas presents for an entirely different culture and group of people this year...it's so weird. It's even weirder to imagine the fact that I'm not going to be spending this holiday season with my family... It's depressing to know that I won't get to see any of my friends...or technically even celebrate the holiday on the same day as everyone else, seeing that I am currently in a time zone that is 19 hours ahead of the majority of people I care about. And, oddly enough, a large majority of my LJ friends are on the US east coast, which I am still 16 hours ahead of. Christmas is a winter holiday in my head, and it's just screwing with me that it'll be a stifling hot summer for me this Christmas. I listened to Christmas music all day today, the first time this season that I've done it. Songs like Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow and I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas seem so...far far away...

Is it odd that this post started off on a somewhat positive note and now it's slipped into a slightly more depressed feeling...? No, I suppose not...not when you take into consideration the content of said post.

My parents have always made Christmas a big deal. We're that family that had a beautiful tree, a tree underneath which sat a huge load of presents... Christmas was the time for my parents to spoil us big time, and they did... I'm not complaining, but the family I've married into isn't the same. They're the one present per person type, and it makes me feel just a tad uncomfortable that my expectations of Christmas are so much different from theirs. And I knew all of this before I met John in person, I knew all of it before I made the decision to move to Australia, I knew all of it before I married the man...but it's only just hitting me now. And it shouldn't be making such an issue in my head, but for some reason it is.

And then the gifts. I have to think through a different season of gifting. Christmas gifts were winter clothes and winter gifts back home. Here, it's summer things...focus on fishing things, boat necessities, life jackets? Swim suits...suntan lotion...new barbeque utensils?

I have a question for anyone who still happens to read my LJ...if someone were to knit you anything, a blanket, a Harry Potter scarf (or any other fandom scar, or a normal scarf), a sweater, socks, a vest, a pair of mittens...slippers, or a purse...what kinds of things would you want?

Maybe it's a loss of the friends and family for the holiday season that's getting me so down. I used to dislike this holiday season because it reminded me of my ex...and how he decided to so horribly dump me over the phone on December 7th oh so many years ago. But John's helped me get over that...and I've done okay the past couple of years with him telling me that things will get better...but instead of dislike, I feel...melancholy? Not sure what to do with it...

As for NaNo...yeah...that didn't go over so well...I was fine the first few days and then, well...lost it. If I'm going to write something I need to plan for it...and pick something that I actually enjoy writing, not something that I suddenly come up with that I think might be a good idea...or not. Writing was never my strong point...

I've also been thinking about changing my layout. I've had the same background of the Marauders from Harry Potter, the same font...I never cared before but suddenly I have the urge to change it. Only thing is, I've no talent with the graphics stuffs and no idea what to change it to... Meh.

And then I hate myself for feeling like this...but is it bad that sometimes I feel like a big fat loser because I don't think enough people are reading my Facebook statuses...or my LJ posts...? It's not bad...it's ridiculous. LJ is a place for me to post my feelings, regardless of whether people read them or not. I don't use Facebook as a networking web, I use it to keep up with friends, and hope that they keep up with me...but sometimes it's just ridiculous that I don't feel like anyone's reading them... Is it loneliness...?
hazy_reflection: (Default)
No, I think the correct phrase would be "I'm so laaaaaaaaaaaaaame" because I can't keep up a 30-day meme to save my life!  =P

As it goes, it's even harder to try nowadays since I don't have INTERNET.  I'm currently on my mother-in-law's computer using her internet because the company we applied to hasn't gotten back to us yet...and it's been almost three weeks!  *sigh*  I love Australia but there are some things that just aren't quite up to speed yet...  =(

My married life so far?  October 14th is coming up and that will be John's and my 6 month anniversary.  Married for six months and it doesn't feel like much is changed...  Is it bad that it's coming up and I don't feel like it needs to be anything special?  The fact that we don't have that "newlywed sparkle" is worrying me.  But we're happy and content with each other and our lives together that I don't feel the need to make it that spectacular celebratory thing...  Maybe it will be though.  John has a habit of surprising me when I least expect it.  Sweetie that he is.

Things to look forward to:  Spring!!  Spring has started in the southern hemisphere and here in Australia that means FISHING!  Fishing season has started up again.  Gone fishing in the boat twice this past month and haven't got much to show for it, except a metre-long carpet shark on each trip.  Good to catch, not so good to keep.  They apparently don't taste very good.  Without the autumn flare Halloween doesn't have the same feel and Australians--at least in my little corner of Australia--don't really celebrate it very much either.  Not so bad for me because I've never really felt the desire to dress up, but I do miss the opportunity to get together and party with the friends.

After that, November!!  John's birthday is on the fourth, and while I've already bought him his birthday/Christmas gift: a brand spanking new shiny as hell XBOX that came with two games.  I still want to do something for him, though I'm not sure what...  He'd be happy if I did something small like cook him dinner, because I can't cook for crap, and he's been trying to teach me so that might be nice.  He doesn't work during the day though so it's not like I can surprise him with it when he gets home from work or anything.  Just letting him spend the day being lazy playing the XBOX and then making him dinner is an idea though...we'll see.  John's decided to let me have a Thanksgiving.  We didn't do it last year and since it's not an Australian holiday it wasn't really thought about until after the fact.  I missed Thanksgiving last year how crap is that?  An opportunity to pork out on yummy foods and delicious goodies and I missed it!!  lol I'm such a food junkie it's gross.  But it'll be fun teaching some of the Thanksgiving foods of my family to the natives.  Mom and dad might be coming out too, they haven't said anything specific yet but they mentioned they were thinking about it.

December!  Christmas in summer...  We'll see what happens.  I went back to the states for the Christmas and New Year's holidays last year so this one will be the first without my family.  That's going to be weird.  No staying over at mom and dad's Christmas Eve...no waking up for Christmas morning breakfast...no spending the day with the usual family and friends...  But it's still a couple months away so there's time to figure things out.  And then New Year's...that's apparently a big celebration (aka "drinking time") for the aussies and I'm not much of a drinker anymore so it'll be interesting.

I've started working at the bakery two days a week, and every other Saturday.  It was a bit odd because they kinda threw me in there without any real training.  But it's pretty simple and easy to do, just constantly working, like the restaurant was but not as busy in it's busiest time.  It's a popular bakery, full of typical Aussie (and English) foods and whatnot.  Meat pies of various types, pasties, sausage rolls and smoke-o's, slices and tarts and yummy things, some of them not so yummy.  It's a good introduction to what John will be expecting for his bakery once he starts it up so it's a good experience.  =)

I think that's it for now...deciding whether or not to have another wedding ceremony and reception here for the aussie side of the family.  If we do, we'll do it in April as a re-dedication of our vows for our one year anniversary...what to do what to do!!


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July 2013

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